Wednesday, March 27, 2002

Ass Play

Ass Play
Apparently "that sucks" might have something to do with a lazy dawg.  In other words, "that dog don't hunt, it sucks eggs."  I forgot about that origin--but I wonder whether most people have that or cocksucking in mind? Probably the latter.  As far as "that dog don't hunt," we're familiar with that sentiment in Texas.  Are you familiar with "she looks like she was rode hard and put up wet"?

Back to ass.  It seems "that's ass" is a shortening of the full phrase "that smells like ass."  Hmmm, while more descriptive, it doesn't really clear up what the checker boy was trying to tell me.  Anyone see the Sex in the City episode intended to expose the general public to the joys of ass.  Have you ever met anyone who went crazy for the smell of your ass?  Have you ever had anyone go crazy on your ass?  Actually kiss your ass?  Have you ever rimmed someone?  Been rimmed?  I was once exposed to the Theory of Holes which basically said any hole associated with shit was a bad hole, as contrasted with all the other good holes.  Some philosophers claim the association to shitholes as the most damning characteristic of homosexuality.  There's another real bad hole--one that's usually good, but sometimes bleeds with menstrual flow. That fuckhole is so bad in some cultures that the owners of such holes are not allowed to bathe in the same water as everyone else or be anywhere near the food.  In some religions, the bloody fuckhole is the sole reason for exclusion from the priesthood.  Interestingly, they seem to be more tolerant of shitholing behind the cloth.  But I digress.

Is there a way to conduct an informal ass-play poll?  I'm curious as to how many straight folks partake.  In the Boy Scouts, playing grab ass was a bad thing, but apparently, according to the Scoutmaster, we did it all the time.


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